Lilly “Superwoman” Singh is a giant among internet stars. Her wildly successful YouTube channel is full of funny and insightful videos, covering topics that range from relationships to the trials of everyday life. In her New York Times Bestseller How to Be a Bawse, Singh takes the lessons she’s learned on her quest for world domination and shares them with her readers.
A Bawse is someone who conquers life. A Bawse is confident and self-aware, has firm values, and isn’t afraid to stand out or work hard. Singh’s book outlines the tools and advice she used to become a Bawse herself. Many of these tools–such as discovering your purpose and eliminating stress–are also staples of the Fabulous diet. If you’re ready to become a Bawse, download Fabulous to start your journey.
Step 1: Master Your Mind
Your mind is your biggest obstacle, Singh writes, but it’s also your greatest asset. Your mind is built to think creatively to solve problems. You’re wired to rise up to challenges and be the best versions of yourself. But it’s not always easy to use your mind productively, especially when you’re bogged down by insecurity or the negativity of others.
The key is to remember that you are in control of your mind. You have the power to make conscious and informed decisions about how you react to people and situations. You get to decide what serves you and what you should let go. When was the last time you considered the things you can control rather than what you can’t? Make yourself a list and refer to it often.
This power of autonomy can be freeing but also comes with hefty responsibilities. Singh warns that being self-aware also means purposefully doing things that are uncomfortable but necessary for your growth and, when appropriate, calling yourself out.
Step 2: Hustle Harder
Once you’ve mastered your mind, you can turn your focus toward reaching your goals.Though success might look easy from an outsider perspective, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Success takes hard work. According to Singh, if you want to be a Bawse, you first have to hustle; then you have to hustle harder.
In order to hustle harder, you need to conquer the things distracting you from your goals. Hesitation, fear, and a lack of direction can all pull us away from achieving the things we want. To keep yourself on the path, you must make that path your primary focus in life. This means learning how to drop distractions and eliminate stress. Fabulous’s Self-Discipline: Mental Toughness exercise talks more about this. You can find it in the Get Inspired section of Make Me Fabulous.
The greatest distraction you face, however, is yourself. Hustling harder means holding yourself accountable to do what you need to do, when you need to do it. It means not letting failure keep you from your dreams. And, most importantly, it means ensuring that you are the one calling the shots in your own life. Not your family, not your colleagues, not the people you follow on social media. You.
Step 3: Make Heads Turn
Humans are a social species. As such, good social skills can be a major asset when becoming a Bawse. Singh writes that it’s about more than just being friendly or likeable, however. To be a Bawse, you’ve got to stand out.
To make heads turn, you’ve got to be unapologetically yourself. You have to go through life with purpose and poise. You have to make yourself known to everyone in every room you walk in and make it so people want to know you.
For introverts and the socially anxious, fear not. Putting yourself out there sounds scarier than it actually is. Like all skills, making heads turn is something that can be perfected through practice. The hardest part is getting out of your own head and realizing that you have just as much right to take up space as anyone else.
Singh suggests plenty of ways to boost your confidence in her book, from wearing what makes you feel awesome to striking power poses. Reciting a powerful affirmation to yourself each morning is an amazing and low-effort way to boost your confidence as soon as you wake up. Try writing one out before you go to sleep tonight so you have it on-hand.
Above all, however, she tells readers to live fully in the moment. Have so much presence “that the past and future [start] feeling insecure.”
Step 4: Be a Unicorn
To be a unicorn in this case is not just to be unapologetically yourself but to be yourself in a way that positively affects others. Kindness, compassion, and love are some of the most powerful forces in the world. A Bawse, according to Singh, not only knows how to use these forces, they’re masters of them.
A compassionate life starts with compassion of the self. Know who you are and what you value. Celebrate those parts of you. Appreciate the things you have instead of mourning the things you don’t. The more you train your brain to be positive, the easier it becomes. One way to get into the positivity groove is to start a gratitude journal, something Fabulous shows you how to do in its Practice Gratitude challenge.
Finally, being compassionate or grateful doesn’t mean becoming a doormat. Being able to stand up for yourself when you’re being taken advantage of is just as important!
Lilly Singh ends her book with two declarations. First, that she is proud of her readers for wanting to be the best versions of themselves. Second, and most importantly, that there is room in the world for everyone to be successful. Achievement is not a zero-sum game. Being the best version of yourself does not mean someone else can’t be the best version of themselves too. Anyone and everyone can be a Bawse.